No You Won't!

Apart from law suits being brought against super mega change Resident Juan Fucking Asshole Peron Jr. Jr. there is now the possibility that he will facing a copyright infringement suit from none other than childhood heroes of the construction site Bob T. Builder and his charming but rugged wife Wendy, angered over broken promises of high level appointments in exchange for the free use of their theme lyrics.

"When we heard that Obama wanted to use the phrase "Yes we can," we approached him to let him know that the exclamation was ours," Bob told SNN.

Wendy went on to say, "He promised that if we gave him free use he'd appoint us co-secretaries of Housing and Urban Development. We should have known he was going screw us when he started having reservations about me being, 'just a girl.'"

Bob and Wendy T. Builder; pissed at the Resident; "The fucker stabbed us in the back."

"He totally fucked us over so now we want our due." Bob said they are asking for $1.5 billion in damages and usage fees.

"The way he's pissing away our tax dollars why should't we get a piece of the action."

The Builders also alluded to the possibility of seeking to get former Philadelphia Phillies hitter Dave Cash in on the suit. Cash started the "Yes We Can" chant for the Phillies back in 1974. Cash could not be reached for comment.

Sesame Street In Flames, Muppets Pissed

Sesame Street erupted in violence and mayhem this week when a photo was released on The Daily News, showing Resident Juan Lincoln Peron Jr. Jr. consuming fried frog's legs.

The photo that touched off violence

"This is the kind of violence frogs have faced for generations and we're fucking sick of it!" exclaimed de facto leader of the riotous mob, one Kermit T. Frog. In solidarity for their green web footed friend, the other Muppet residents of Sesame Street flew into a red rage, setting cars ablaze, smashing store front windows, and in at least one case...stealing cookies.

"Me love cookies!" was the last thing heard by Puppeteer Bob Lenier before being clubbed over the head with a two by four.

Pissed off Muppets take to the streets

Photo from layoutsparks.com

The Count told SNN, "We haven't chaad a riot like dis, since dey tried to shave da Snuffleupagus...ah ah ah ah."

"I'm just glad Mr. Looper isn't alive to see this," said Big Bird with a tear in his eye as he lobbed a molotov cocktail through the store front window of what had been Hooper's Grocery Store.

When asked when the violence might end Kermit's publicist Skyler said, "When the President publicly apologizes for eating frog legs, and does a public service announcement stating that eating frog legs is evil, we will stand down. Until then, the shit hole burns! This is not change we can believe in!"

American Mascot Contemplates Retirement

The symbol of our nation, the Bald Eagle, is considering stepping down from its post as our nation's mascot.

"Look, that's us on the Presidential seal, the Vice President's seal, State...we're on money and shit. Frankly I don't want to be associated with this wingnut fucking bullshit," said a bald eagle spokesbird this morning.

When asked for suggestions as to what species of animal would take over the bird replied, "Weasels are suck ups, they might do it. But if you're going to stick with the bird idiom I'd go with the turkey vulture, or the shitbird."

The Turkey Vulture. If it reeks, and it's dead, the turkey vulture will eat it.

The Shitbird is not worried about personal hygiene, or keeping up appearances.

When asked what the American bald eagle population had in mind for retirement the Bald Eagle Spokesbird told us, "We're keeping our options open. We've talked about moving lock stock and barrel to The Villages..."

SNN: "America's friendliest hometown?"

BESB: "The same. But if Biden is getting drunk singing the jingle then there's a pretty high rate of probability he will end up there. We're trying to disassociate from these assholes. I hear Boca is nice. We've also gotten an invitation from the Philadelphia Eagles to take up residence in and around Lincoln Financial Field to help control the R.O.U.S. population. We're not making any commitments right now, just assessing our possibilities."