ALL THE NEWS I DECIDE TO MAKE UP

SINCE THE PAMPERS NEWS NETWORKS HAVE DEDICATED THEMSELVES TO MAKING UP AN ALTERNATE REALITY TO SHIELD THEIR CHOSEN ONE FROM SCRUTINY AND CRITICISM, I HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW THEIR LEAD, CREATING MY OWN NEWS NETWORK. I CONTROL THE HORIZONTAL. I CONTROL THE VERTICAL. I AM THE LIZARD KING! I CAN DO ANYTHING!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Pampers' Millions Wisely Invested.


With Pampers having secured victory in the presidential election, and the DNC heavily in debt, he has decided to take the next logical step:  invest trillions of dollars in an intergalactic waffle maker.  No wonder his tutors are saying the transition will cost $11 million billion gadillion dollars.

Commenting at a press conference the president-select said, "I uh...um...had to choose between uh...a planet destroying space station or the wafflemaker.  I figure I can always blow up planets with my ego so wafflemaker it is."

Have fun Pampers.  Now no one can bother you while you eat your waffles.




waffle image from Hillbuzz
ODeathstar from radio 360 Talk

1 comment:

lililam said...

leggo my eggo

About Me

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I went blind for 36 hours in the spring of 1973 while suffering from pneumonia. In my expert medical opinion I was suffering from an acute case of hysterical blindness caused by having to watch the Watergate hearings with my mom, who was also shvach with the pneumonia. As a result, I am now physiologically incapable of being bamboozled by politicians, reporters, commentators, partisans, artisans, charlatans, caravans, old sedans, chicks with tans, or guys named Stan. I am a satirist, rabid feminomacho equalitist, Israel and HaShem loving Jew, sarcastinator, historialogist, musicologist, pain in the ass, and thorn in your side. Animals are people. Two legs good, four legs awesome. אני מאמין באמונה שלמה